


Bitter Lullabies

by AceSparkleGirl



Series: Waking Nightmare [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 18:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2742425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceSparkleGirl/pseuds/AceSparkleGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Terezi Pyrope and it has come to your attention that your boyfriend has not been himself lately, and you have taken it into your own hands to fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter Lullabies

He never questioned you, and you never complained. You could do whatever you’d wanted and he wouldn’t stop you, even if he didn't exactly... agree with your decisions.

 

Sometimes the two of you would fight, _god_ did you fight. It was inevitable, of course you’d fight. You’d been told so many times by your friends that they had never seen anyone fight more like an old married couple than you two did. And too, more often than not the arguments were over stupid, simple things. Telling you that you were wrong would set you off on levels that even you sometimes didn’t understand, and that’s when the words started flying.

 

Words that usually did not even mean to be said.

 

Recently, however, things seemed to be changing. The man who had once yelled so often seemed to have softened up, his voice easing whenever the two of you were well on your way to another argument. Telling you that it didn't matter when you asked him if everything was alright. He was fine. Then he'd ask you the same with an apology for being such a god damned dickmuncher. Of course, _inevitably_ , you'd just laugh and land a kiss on his sharp jaw, telling him that there was nothing that you'd do to change that.

 

That is, after all, the Karkat that you fell in love with. The Karkat whose face you haven't seen since you were thirteen years old. Karkat whose voice was loud and rough, but so smooth to you, a constant comfort in your life. The man who, when he held you, you felt so safe with.

 

This man here now, though? He was different from that Karkat. You wouldn’t say that you no longer loved him, but something had changed. He just seemed.. softer. More prone to panic. You recalled a moment a few weeks ago when you were walking with him and you tripped over your own feet, stumbling over something you would never see. Before you could manage to collect yourself, you felt his arms wrap around you and pull you flush against himself, his fingers weaving through your hair. At first you were confused, but then he spoke up. His voice was shaky as he asked if you were alright, and it was then that you wrapped your arms around him, laughing softly.

 

"I just _tripped_ , Karkat."

 

You could practically feel his cheeks as they flushed red. He pulled away from you, swallowing hard. Pressing his lips together, he went silent as his hand went to yours, squeezing it tightly. It was almost as if he was trying to make sure that you were _there_ ; as if he'd been holding something back.

 

You assumed that he'd tell you if something was wrong. He wouldn’t keep something to himself if it were bothering him that much, you trusted that. It’s what you’d believed for so long, why stop believing it now? Trust is what builds a relationship. Ultimately, you _knew_ that you could trust him, and you were sure he knew that he could trust you. What mattered most was that you knew he loved you as much as you, in turn, loved him. Even when things got rough.

 

Despite all of those rough patches, things seemed to be going well for the two of you. More so than before, that is. You couldn’t count on your fingers the number of days it had been since you’d fought with him last. Maybe it had been weeks. Something in your head told you probably went along with his sudden change in attitude, but you shrugged it off. It was for the better, you were sure. Fights weren’t your strong suit in the first place, anyway. Whenever you found yourself stuck in one, the two of you were too stubborn to come out and talk to each other, and you’d always end up in a stalemate that usually ended in a rather long period of time locked up in each other’s room. After that, you’d always fall asleep with him, the only thought left for you to ponder on being why you hadn’t been speaking in the first place.

 

So here you were now, sitting cross legged in your apartment, thinking about not only Karkat, but yourself, and the two of you as a couple. Things were in fact going well between you, but that didn't mean that Karkat was acting any less weird around you. It did not mean that every time you tripped and he called out your name that you were not only confused, but fairly worried as well. Karkat Vantas was a lot of things but he had never once been this jumpy, no.

 

Sighing, you uncross your legs and let yourself fall back so that you're hanging over the arm of your couch. You were sure that he'd come around. Of course he would. He was Karkat, and he loved you and you loved him.

 

Which is exactly what crossed your mind when an absolutely brilliant idea found its way into your thoughts along with everything else.

 

A _date_.

 

It was so obvious now, why had you not thought about it before? God, you couldn't be sure when the last time you'd gone on a date with him. This one, however, would be special. It would be different, and it would all be planned by you. You _had_ been meaning to talk to him about something for a while, too. You'd need some help, of course. You were _blind,_ but you knew exactly who to get to help you.

 

Reaching down, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, fingers tracing over the buttons before you pressed the key you knew to be the speed dial to your sister. Lifting the object to your ear, you let out a content hum as you listened to the phone's ringing, waiting for Latula to answer.

 

Eventually that moment arrived, and the tinny voice of your sister rang through the speaker.

 

"Heeeeey, Tez!" Her voice chimed through the cellphone and you couldn't help but grin. She sounded happy; Mituna must have been over.

 

"Latula, hey! Listen, I need your help.”

 

You could practically feel the silence that hung between the phone lines before she replied.

“Shit, Tez, do you need jail bail?” You can hear the mocking tone in her voice, and you know just as much as she does that she’s joking. “You know I’ve got your back, but this might be one of those things where--”

 

You laugh, cutting her off. “No, ‘Tula, I need your help with setting up a date. For Karkat and I. He’s been on edge lately, have you realized..?” You made the attempt to inform her, but trailed off as you could practically hear her thinking. Maybe you were trying too hard to explain it. “...I just gotta ease his nerves, that’s all.”

 

“Yeah, sure thing, Terezi. What do you need?”

 

“You. And some folding chairs.. And a table?” you purse your lips in thought. “And food, but I think I can cover that.”

 

You heard shuffling before Latula spoke up again. “Sounds rad, little sis. What are you planning?”

 

“Dinner. Romantic dinner. On the roof!” you beamed, clearly proud of yourself. Latula just laughed, but you could hear her smile.

 

“Alright. I’ll be right over-- See you soon, Tez.” She broke off, and it sounded as though she were going to hang up before you cut in.

 

“Hey, Latula, wait.”

 

She paused. “..Hm? Yeah?”

 

“Can you uh.. Would you mind calling Kankri, too?” God, you hated the suggestion, but it seemed like it needed to be done. He could probably help, maybe.

 

“..Kankri? Yeah, sure, I’ll hit him up. Drag ‘im out of his house if I damn have to.” She chuckles. “See you soon.” she reiterated, and it was then that your ears were met with the sound of nothing, signifying to you that she’d hung up. Placing the phone down, you grinned wide; now all there was to do was wait.

 

After what seemed to you like hours, though it was realistically probably only at least ten minutes, not that _you_ could tell, you heard the buzzer to your apartment go off. A grin shot across your face before you shot up from the couch, stumbling slightly as you move forward and press the button to allow them in, calling out a ‘Hey!’

 

Standing off the side of the door, you grinned, your cane pressed into the ground, clutched between your hands. As soon as you heard the door swing open, your grin widened and you straightened up.

 

“Hey, ‘Tula!” you chimed, taking a step forward and wrapping your arms around the first figure you found. The person in your arms, however, was much taller than Latula, much stiffer, and felt more.. firm? Drawing in a sharp breath through your nose, your face screwed up as a voice reached your ears, followed by a sharp chuckle of a laugh.

 

“ _Not_ Latula.” Kankri seethed, stepping away from you as your arms dropped. Latula was the one to laugh, and you realized that she was behind you when you felt arms wrap around you tightly, squeezing you gently. _That_ was Latula.

 

“Hey there, Tez.” she mused. You, however, caught on to the sound of the brushing of fabric, and you realized that Kankri was smoothing out his pants. Damn, you forgot how much he hated being _touched_.

 

“Hey.” You turn to her, and you tilt your chin slightly up in order to at least seem like you were looking at her. “Did you bring the stuff?” Suddenly the air becomes still, and a silence lingers over the room. When she finally speaks up, her voice in a low whisper.

 

“Sure thing, Tez. They’re down in my trunk-- Never took you for someone who likes to do drugs, but you gotta keep it down around Triggers over there..” she warned, and your cheeks must have paled, because you heard her laughing again. Damn her and her jokes. “Yeah, I brought the table and chairs. Kankri’s got the chairs, and the table’s out in the hall.”

 

You nod, smiling at her. “Cool. You know how to get up to the roof, right?” You’re pretty sure she nods, because she makes a small noise of reassurance before telling you that she’ll go set up the table. After you hear her footsteps leave the room, you’re confused. There’s still someone here; you can feel it. However the confusion passes quickly. _Kankri_.

 

The elder Vantas was quiet for a rather long while, and that's why you knew that you were in for it. He never shuts up, so why had he done as such right now? Your train of thought was soon broken, met with your answer in a rather unpleasant way; Kankri went _off_.

 

“Terezi, you _do_ realize that this is an awful idea-- I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. This is probably not a _good_ idea--” You sigh, letting your head loll to the side in substitution for the eyes that you no longer had, and you can practically feel his glare boring into you. Dammit, where’s Latula when you need her? Oh yeah, up on the roof. Where _you_ should be going.

 

He continues, “--I know that you mean well, and it is great that you want to do something special for my younger brother, but perhaps this is not the best way to go about it.” You’re pretty damn sure he’s just looking for something to lecture you about. He takes a moment, as if waiting for it to sink into your mind.

 

It doesn’t.

 

He goes on anyway, and you aren’t sure if he notices that your arms are now crossed against your chest. “After all, you _are_ blind-- I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be an ableist; no offense..-- But, if anything were to happen, God forbid.. It is a roof, anyway, and you never _know_ \--..”

 

You cut him off by shoving one of the metal folding chairs against his chest, your eyebrows drawn together over your lens-covered plastic eyes.  “Kankri, kindly shut the fuck up, and take the goddamn fucking folding chairs to the roof."

 

Before he can go off on another tangent about _swearing_ , you push past him and join your sister on the roof of the apartment complex.

 

"How's it going?" you ask, blind eyes sweeping the roof as if you were searching for her. Her voice comes from beside you.

 

"Radical, Tez!" she chimed, throwing her arm around your shoulders in such a way that you stumble over yourself slightly, clinging onto her for support. "Where's Kanks with the chairs?”  
  
“Here. After your sister ever so kindly--” Before he could even begin to finish, your sister cut him off, and you grinned triumphantly.

 

“Aw, come on, Kanks, cheer up and go set up the chairs. Table’s over there.” she informed him, and you could hear a scuffle of feet, only assuming that she had given him a gentle shove on the back to push him to do it.

 

 

It was another hour or so before Latula and Kankri finally parted from your apartment. They had informed you that it was getting late, and that the sun was setting, and that now would _probably_ be a good time to call Karkat. And you would, as soon as you cooked up dinner.

 

At least, that’s what you’d had the intention to do.

 

Cooking had gone horribly wrong. Poor planning on your part. You could only do so many things in the kitchen at once with a lack of sight such as your own. You could not let this plan fail now though, no way.. So what better alternative than Chinese food? You were sure Karkat would understand.

 

After another twenty minutes or so had passed, you were up on the roof sitting at the table, a bag of Chinese food by your side. Two candles had been strategically placed on the table by your older sister, though she’d told you that they were electric as to avoid that ‘something’ that Kankri was so paranoid about. You were not concerned that what he said mattered, especially as you called Karkat up on your cellphone. It didn’t take long for him to answer.

 

“Karkat!”

 

“Hey, Terezi.” A grin spreads across your face, your eagerness beginning to set in.

 

“Listen, how fast can you be here?”

 

There’s a notable pause and you hear a soft shuffling as if he’d stood up and was starting to pull his jacket on. “As fast as usual.. Why? Is something wrong?” There was a hint of panic in his voice, and you laughed.

 

“No, I just need you to do me a real big favor. Meet me up on the roof of my apartment as soon as you possibly can; the door’s open. Can you do that?”

 

You weren’t sure if it was just you hearing things, or if he’d really drawn in a sharp breath. “Wh--Why the roof?” His voice was shaky, and you frowned.

 

“Don’t ask questions!”

 

“Come on, why meet you there? Why don’t you just come over here? I’ll come pick you up, or--” You cut him off with an agitated sigh, stomping a foot against the concrete of the roof like a child.

  
“Come ooon, Karkat, don’t be such a baby. It’s just one time.” you plead, and something inside of you is sinking because you’re pretty damn sure he’s trying to turn this down.

 

You heard his sigh of resignation and you grinned, knowing that you’d won. “Fine,” you heard him say. “I’ll be right over. Don’t.. Don’t do anything stupid, got it?”

 

You blink, confused for a moment before you let out a sharp cackle. “No promises, Kat! I’ll see you when you get here!” And with that, you hang up and begin to wait.

 

Though it seemed like far longer than it actually was, you eventually heard the door to the roof open up, and you stood up, arms waving out to the sides. “..Tah-dah!” God, you hoped it was actually him.

 

Upon hearing his voice, however, your nerves were eased and you grinned wide.

 

“Oh my _God,_ Terezi..”

 

You could only imagine the look on his face.

 

“You like it, Vantas? I didn’t do it myself, of course, I had a little help-- And I _meant_ to home cook a meal, but that didn’t.. exactly work out the way I planned. I kind of burnt it, and--”

 

This time it was your turn to be cut off, Karkat’s arms wrapping around you. You blinked, smiling a bit as your arms went around him in return.

 

“God, Tez, shut up. It’s _fine_. At least you didn’t manage to set the entire kitchen on fire.”

 

It was a joke, sure, but you laughed against his chest. Sometimes you forgot how much taller he was compared to you… “I think I almost did, to be honest,” you muse. “Good thing I didn’t do that and end up tripping off of the fire escape, huh?” you add with a grin. After you spoke, however, you felt him stiffen, and you frown. “..Something wrong?”

 

You feel him ease as your hands fall from around him, your hand sliding down his arm to find his hand, squeezing it gently. “What? No, I’m fine.” he assures you, squeezing your hand back. You grin at him, that usual shit-eating grin that makes him melt and you _know_ it.

 

“Well? Sit down, Karkat! Come on, I’ve got Chinese.”

 

He does. You hear the pull of the chair's legs against concrete, cueing you to sit back down in your own seat. Reaching a hand down, you hoist the brown bag of food up onto the top of the table. Feeling for the top, you tentatively pull it open, looking across the table towards Karkat.

 

"You feelin alright, Kat? Usually you're all over this shit. Something wrong? Don’t tell me you hate me or something.”

 

It was another moment before Karkat spoke up. "I _told_ you, Tez, I'm fine." he assured you, and you were sure he was smiling at you. You couldn't be sure. Nodding at him, you give the bag a gentle tap.

 

"Well what are you waiting for? Dig in, Vantas."

 

You heard him laugh, and you relaxed, smiling hopefully at him as you heard him pulling the paper containers out of the bag and placing them on the table beneath it. It was then when you actually realized just how _cold_ it was up here.

 

"..God, it's cold up here," you mumble with a soft chuckle. "Guess I should've thought about that before, huh, Kat?" A silence hangs over you, and you feel as though you'd said something wrong before you feel a weight on your shoulders and you realize that he's giving you his jacket. You hadn't even heard him stand up. You blink, craning your neck a bit to look towards him. "Thanks, Karkat," you muse, chuckling softly. "..And here I thought chivalry was dead."

 

He lets out a laugh as well, but it sounds _hollow._ "I'd rather _it_ be dead than _you_ ," he informs you, and his voice is coming from the other side of the table again. You grin again, cackling at him.

 

"I'm not going anywhere, Karkat," you told him, and you were about to start serving yourself before you paused. "Ah, shit, I didn't get the beer from my apartment-- I have some water here, but..." you purse your lips, looking to him. "..Do you want me to go get it?"

 

You think he shakes his head, because he answers with a hasty " _No,"_ before he asks you if _you_ want _him_ to get it. You turn down the offer, telling him that you aren't really in the mood for drinking tonight. It wasn't _exactly_ a lie. The relief that seemed to flood his voice stirred you, but you didn't question it.

 

The night continued smoothly, laughing over your Chinese food, talking about things that didn't matter in the long run. It didn't bother you at all; this night was for him to calm down, and for the two of you to catch up. The whole thing had definitely been needed for a while, and there was no doubt in your mind that he appreciated it just as much as you did. There was just one thing left to be done.

 

Drawing in a breath, you stood from your spot at the table, nodding sharply as you reached down and grabbed your cane, turning your back to the table and moving towards the ledge of the roof, cane in front of you to watch out for any obstacles. Making your way over to the edge proved itself to be simple, and you placed your hands on the short concrete wall without hesitation. You heard Karkat’s chair behind you squeal against the surface of the roof, and it sounded like he was about to protest to you going over there, but you spoke before he could.

 

“There’s a _reason_ I called you here tonight, Karkat.” Your voice was calm, and you hoped that he couldn’t tell that you were trying your hardest to act more mysterious than you actually were, especially as your chin tilted up in what _would_ be a dramatic gaze to the stars-- If you could actually see.

 

“Terezi, get away from the--”

 

“Shh!” You smirked, attempting to turn on your heel to speak face to face. That attempt, however, proved to be botched as you stumbled a bit, feeling yourself lean over nothing. A moment of panic flashed across your face as you unconsciously blurted Karkat's name,. You heard him cry out for you as well, and it sounded _close_. It was clear to you that you had spoken too quickly because as fast as you'd said it, you were back on two feet, brushing off your pants and huffing out the breath you'd held back.

 

"Woo, that was close, huh Kat?" you mused, grinning to where you'd assumed the boy would be; you'd felt his hand around your wrist a moment ago, after all. " _Karkat_ ," you reiterated, growing a bit irritated as the only thing that greeted you was silence.

 

"Come on, Vantas, you can cut the shit. I get it, you're joking around. Haha, it's very funny." you huffed, arms finding their place across your chest, though you felt your hands shaking. He was just joking, right? Finding that only silence echoed back at you, you felt your whole body go cold, chewing at your lip. "Karkat, it's not fucking funny anymore." Your voice was shaky and you didn't like one bit of how it sounded nothing like your usual confident trill.

 

Suddenly, the realization hit you. How he had tried telling you to get away from the edge.

His hand was around your wrist one moment and gone the next. Fingertips had grazed your skin before they had seemingly disappeared. The way that he’d sounded so close to you just moments before, and then how he’d fallen so quiet.

 

Silence lingered awkwardly around you, and everything felt heavy. There was no _way_. Blind eyes darted back and forth, as if searching for something that you were almost positive you wouldn't have found even if you _could_ see. He had to be there; he had to be somewhere, you were just crazy. He’d appear from behind an obstacle, laughing and telling you how he had gotten you _so_ good, and you’d punch him in the arm and tell him that it _was not_ funny. That he is 23 years old and needs to get _over_ himself.

 

Much to your own dismay, that didn't happen, and everything in your mind told you that it _wouldn't_ happen. Karkat Vantas was gone. Karkat Vantas had watched you stumble, tried to catch you, tried to _save you_ , and he _fell._ You suddenly felt numb, and your fingers fumbled for your pocket, trying to grab for your cellphone as you held back the thickness in your throat. The urge to _cry,_ to _scream_. Fingers moving against the buttons, you felt your heart pounding in your chest as you dialed 911. You wanted everything to be fake; maybe this _wasn't happening._

 

But it was.

 

The dispatcher answered your call within a heartbeat, asking you in a calm voice what your emergency was. Your voice, however, was panicked; full of an unfamiliar sense of fear that you haven’t felt since you were thirteen. Your body felt frozen, words pouring out of your mouth at a speed that you weren't sure was even audible as you screamed about what had happened in the past few minutes. You screamed about how you had _stumbled_ , and you’d _almost fallen_ , and he tried to _save_ you, but then he was _gone_ , and oh _God_ he fell _._ He _fell_ and he was _gone_ , and what were you supposed to do?

 

You were crying by the time the dispatcher was telling you to calm down, that it was going to be okay, and she was asking where you were. You told her through tears that you were at the Johnson Apartment Complex, filling her in on specifics when she asked. Or at least, trying to. You weren't positive if she could tell what you were saying, but by the way she proceeded in conversation, you determined that she could make out what she needed to hear. Holding your breath, you heard her ask if you needed her to stay on the line, an offer which you declined. You have to call _Latula._

 

As soon as you heard the dial tone, your fingers fumbled for Latula’s speed dial, hands shaking as you gripped the phone as tightly as you could. Bringing it to your ear, you wait for your sister to pick up, and shortly after the ringing even began, she had picked up. When you heard her voice, however, you’d soon wished that she hadn't answered.

 

“Terezi, what are you doing calling me? Aren't you on a date?” Her voice was playful, and you _knew_ she was teasing, but that didn't stop you from letting out a pitiful sob, and you heard your sister’s voice immediately switch into a more concerned tone. “.. _Terezi_? Shit, are you alright?”

 

You shook your head wildly, managing to squeak out a ‘no’ in reply as you felt your knees give out under you, dropping to the cold concrete beneath you. At once, your sister sounded slightly panicked, something that you would never grow accustomed to.

 

“What’s wrong, Tez? What _happened_?” she urged, and you only felt yourself breaking further as she questioned you.

 

“He’s _gone_!” you cried out, burying your face in your arm as you tried to collect yourself.

 

“What? What do you mean, he’s gone?!”

 

 “Oh _G-God,_ Latula, he _fell_..!” Your voice is all too loud, and you can hear the girl on the other end trying to speak over you. “I _need_ him, Latula! I n-need him and he’s _gone!”_ Everything feels numb, you feel _sick_ , and you don’t want to be here. It’s times like this you’re glad you can no longer see yourself. You can practically hear your heart pounding, unfocused as you hear the distant words of your sister coming through the speaker.

 

Faintly, you hear a car rev up, and a muddled declaration of ‘I’m on my way’ before the phone falls to a dial tone, and you’re left to yourself. You’re left to your own thoughts and you don’t know if you’re okay with that, because all you can think about is the fact that he’d probably looked to you. That he’d probably tried to call out for you as he lost himself. The _look_ that was probably on his face-- if you had seen it-- if you’d been _able_ to see it.

 

Just thinking that throws you off, and you feel yourself losing it again, causing you to double over, arms wrapping around your legs tightly as you choke out another sob. Your throat burns with every sob that escapes you, especially when you try to hide it. You weren't quite sure who you were trying to hide it from, anyway. No one’s around to hear you, let alone see you, so what was the point?

 

That was, until, you heard the door creak open, footsteps rush over to you, and felt the gust of wind as someone you could only assume to be your sister dropped beside you. The familiar arms around you tipped you off immediately, and your face contorted, pressing into her soft touch as you wail into her chest. It nearly strikes you that you sound exactly like a siren, until you realize that _oh_ , those _are_ sirens. Those are sirens because you called 911, and something in your mind tries to convince you that maybe they can still save him.

 

“I didn't _hear_ it! I didn't hear anything, he d-didn't make any _noise!_ He could still be _alive_ right now!” You weren't aware that those words had left your mouth until Latula’s grip tightened around you and you felt her head shake.

 

“He’s _dead_ , Terezi, there’s-- There is _no way_ he could have survived a fall from this height..” she informs you, and all at once you feel so much worse, because it strikes you that it could have been _you._

 

It _should_ have been you.

 

You don’t speak again though, because you know that Karkat wouldn't want you to think that, and you know that Latula knows it as well. Even if your brain is scrambling for any scrap of a reason that he could still be _alive_.

 

Pressing closer to your sister’s warm touch, you listen as you hear a soft beeping noise. It doesn't register as her dialing a number on her phone until you hear her speaking into it softly, and it sinks in that she is calling _Kankri_.

 

You want to scream at her. To tell her that that is the worst possible thing to do right now, to put the phone _down_. You try to block out the conversation, but you hear bits and pieces. Pieces of a conversation that you wished wasn't even taking place.

 

“..Hey, Kankri…. accident…. roof…. _Dead,_ Kankri.. come to the apartment…”

 

Her voice fades in and out of your conscious thought constantly, and you aren't sure if you’re blacking out or just not listening anymore. Either way, it didn't stop the fact that your older sister had just called your boyfriend's brother to tell him that Karkat was dead, and to come to the.apartment.

 

She'd had bad ideas before, but this was off the charts. When you finally feel as though your nerves are easing, as though you'd managed to forget why had been crying in the first place, Latula's body twists around and you hear her whisper the elder Vantas' name. You might not be able to see, but you could practically feel the solemn look on her face, and it stung you. That's when footsteps approach the two of you, and a stale silence hung over you, heavy on your chest.

 

What was most strange to you was the fact that Kankri had remained completely silent thus far, and he hadn't _spoken._ He hadn't gone off, and it was unsettling.

 

Until he did speak.

 

"I _told_ you." His voice was bitterly calm, and you swallowed hard, attempting to keep yourself at a level of easiness that you were sure anyone could see through it. "I told you that something w--"

 

As your grip tightens around your sister, you feel her stiffen, straightening up. "Kankri, that is _enough."_ she hissed out, and you heard the older male's voice falter, breaking slightly as he stopped talking. You curled into yourself again as Latula stood up, listening to her go over to him, her voice dropping to a whisper that was inaudible to your ears.

 

But through the whole thing, you didn't hear him make a sound. You could hear your sister's hushed voice, but you could not make out her words. Of course, you weren't sure that you _wanted_ to. If it was enough to pull Kankri aside, you probably didn't want to hear it. Maybe she was just scolding him for trying to tell you off, which you found highly unlikely given the circumstance, but you could pretend.

 

No, chances were that she was trying to explain to him what had happened from what you’d squeezed out of your mouth, though it wasn't much to go by. _He’d fallen,_ that’s all you had told her. You’d left out the fact that it had almost been you. That you’d felt his hand on your skin, and that he’d warned you to get away.

 

You knew you’d have to tell them eventually, but now was not the time for that.You could barely breathe without choking on a sob, and you knew now more than any time else that you needed to _calm down_.

 

After what you could only assume to have been another minute or so, you felt a hand on your shoulder, a soft voice speaking down towards you.

 

“..Everything’s gonna be alright, Tez,” your sister had whispered, hand rubbing gently at your arm as she leaned down to take your hands, helping you to your feet. “..Kankri’s got your cane, we’re gonna.. We’re gonna go downstairs, alright? They’re taking--” she broke off, drawing in a sharp breath as if she had decided against speaking any further. You merely nodded, leaning into her as your hand found hers, and all at once you feel like a toddler again.

 

By the time she’d led you down to the lobby and out of the apartment into the night, you drew in a shaky breath, seeming to have calmed down at least enough to breathe correctly. It still unsettled you that Kankri had yet to speak, but you chose to attempt to ignore it.

 

It wasn't until you heard feet shuffling over to you that you wished you were back up on that roof. All at once, you heard different people asking you different questions, all introducing themselves as either a paramedic or a police officer. You felt yourself starting to break as you were asked exactly what happened, and you tried your hardest to explain what _had_ happened on the roof, but nothing you told them seemed to be enough. It wasn't enough that you had merely figured he’d fallen. It wasn't enough when you were crying against Latula again, and it certainly wasn't enough as you apologized over and over again, telling them that you are _blind_ , and you are _sorry_.

 

It hadn't been enough until Latula was yelling at them in her big sister voice, telling them to back the _fuck_ off, informing them that you had been through _enough_ already, and this was the last that you needed. Feeling a tug on your hand, you snap to attention, quickly following after her, trying to keep your cool. Eventually, you heard a car door open, and felt Latula’s hands on your shoulder.

 

“Terezi. Hey, get in the car, Tez.” she whispered, and you did. As soon as you felt yourself make contact with the back seat, you lowered yourself so that your body was stretched across the seats, face burying into your arms as you listened to the older two get in the front.

 

You were damn near completely silent for the entirety of the ride to what you only assumed to be the hospital. Latula still had not informed you, but you could hear a siren in the background the whole while. Though you did not speak, you were a bit surprised when Kankri did, and you listened in.

 

“He was all I had left.”

 

Hearing those words leave his lips made your stomach flip, and you squeezed your eyelids shut. As much as you wanted to, you couldn't block it out this time.

 

“Kankri…”  
  
“Don’t _touch_ me, Latula.” His voice was sharp and too high, and it was strange to hear him like this. “I said do _not_ touch me!”

 

You heard a sigh leave your sister’s lips, and you shifted in the back. If you had listened to him in the first place...

 

As quickly as the thought has appeared, you were broken away from it as the car came to a complete stop and Latula shut it off.

 

“We’re here.”

 

 

Once you had gotten out of the car with your sister and Kankri, the three of you were ushered into a waiting room in the hospital. You weren't sure exactly what for; you knew just as well as anyone else that Karkat Vantas was dead, and there was nothing that could be done to save him. You knew that now.

 

Sitting in the hospital seemed painstakingly longer than it probably was, much like each event that had led up to this moment. The smell of disinfectant filled your nose, and it did nothing to ease the pounding in your head. Your throat burns from screaming and crying. You still felt nauseous, your stomach turning each time you thought about the events that had taken place during the last few hours. You felt absolutely miserable, and  even though you were leaned against your sister, her arm around your shoulders, you can’t help but feel as though maybe it would have been better if you’d fallen too.

 

You don’t realize just how stone faced you are until you hear a voice that you know full well isn't Kankri’s or Latula’s.

 

“Miss Pyrope?”

 

Your head lifted a bit, swallowing hard before you attempted to speak up. The words didn't form, and you merely hummed out a small “Hmm?”

 

You sit up a bit from your place on Latula’s shoulders, looking towards the voice.

 

“We.. Found this in Mr. Vantas’ pocket,” the voice informed you, and that’s when it dawned on you that it was a doctor. You assume that he was trying to give you something, and you hold out your hand, unsure of whether or not he knows that you’re blind. You nod stiffly as you curled your fingers around the object, realizing it to be a small velvety box. Your eyebrows knit together and you feel Latula’s arm drop from around you as she leans in, asking you what it is. You shrug, frowning as your fingers feel at it and you eventually find a seam, which you quickly realize to be where it opens.

 

Gingerly opening it, you hear a soft _clack_ as the two halved separate, and you hear Latula draw in a sharp breath.

 

“What?” you mumble, fingers tracing delicately over the contents of the box. It isn't until your fingers trace against a small round gem, the loop of metal, and the silk that holds it that it really sinks in what you’re holding in your hand.

 

A ring.

 

A ring from Karkat’s pocket.

 

Quite frankly, you weren't sure what you expected to be in the box, but it sure as hell was not this. Sitting there in a hospital waiting room, holding an engagement ring that your dead boyfriend intended to give to you, as his brother and your sister stood over you. You feel sick again, as if you should _not_ be holding it. He had just as much of a reason to be with you tonight as you had to be with him, and you had ruined it.

 

Over your own thoughts, you can hear Kankri and Latula murmuring, but the words do not reach you as your own spill out of your mouth.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't supposed to go this far I swear.


End file.
